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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?